what a waste

1.
why does it kill me
this feeling inside
i never set out 2 hurt u
never meant 4 u 2 cry
i want u so much
but still i push u away
what i see with my eyes
& with the words that i say
sorry's just a word
unless it's said from the heart
so with every beat that mine makes
my angry apology starts

2.
i hope u know why
& can make u understand
that when we'r in the company of others
i don't know who i am
who do u want me 2 b?
which person inside?
then u dare 2 ask me
what i'v done with my smile?
why am i being quiet?
why do i disappear out of site?
do u honestly expect me
2 watch on & tongue bite?

3.
i watch others around u
& see the smile that u make
i'm helpless in my feelings
i'm scared that i'll awake
2 find that ur gone
never ever 2 look back
i hope i can touch u again
give u back what u lack
but whilst i can't come near u
coz no-one else is supposed 2 know
the light that shines brightly
flickers not glows

4.
do u remember the nights
when no-one else mattered
that doesn't happen anymore
happy feelings in tatters
all it would take
is 4u 2 pay me some attention
rather than just a few words
& the odd "u ok?" mention
but instead u choose
2 spend time bumping my friend
then can't understand
how that could possibly offend

5.
am i being selfish?
so what if i am?
u try standing by watching
whilst others play with ur man
knowing that they can make him laugh
bring a smile 2 his face
whilst he bumps up against them
ah fuck, what a waste
so carry on baby
but i'll b gone 4 a while
on a search 4 ur double
knowing she'll respect my smile

6.
now that we'r over
u can do as u choose
dance with them all
show them what u can do
u once said that
i treated u like a lady
made u feel special
perhaps even drove u crazy
well never mind
if ur happy 2b used
u could have anyone
any man that u choose
but u know & i know
that there never will b
anyone who loved u
as much as me

7.
i'm bitter, i'm pissed
didn't think that u could make me feel
so sad & so angry
with 1 spin of the wheel
let's make it permanent
stop wasting my time
good luck in ur search
as they line up single file
but when u feel worthless
please don't turn 2 me
ask 2 turn back the clock
& in both my eyes see
the longing, the love
that was once guaranteed
u had ur chance
u could have had me 4 free
sorry sweet baby
why did u blow it?
but if it's any consolation
u got me feeling like shit!